A tamer Ricky Gervais hosts the 69th Golden Globes
Comedian Ricky Gervais pushed the envelope too far with his wisecracks at last year's Golden Globes. Many were directed at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), the event's organizer. Ricky kept joking that the awards were for sale. Many were certain he would not be returning to this year's ceremony.
They were wrong. The British funnyman was back on Jan. 16 as host of the 69th Golden Globes, greeting the audience with "Tonight, you get Britain's biggest comedian, hosting the world's second-biggest awards show, on America's third-biggest network." He would continue skewering the HFPA during the show. Speaking about one of the nominated shows, "Boardwalk Empire," he commented, "I love that show," he said, "It's about a load of immigrants who came to America about a hundred years ago, and they got involved in bribery and corruption and worked their way up into high society. But enough about the Hollywood Foreign Press."
On the whole, however, his performance was tamer than last year's. Of course, some of his "f" words got bleeped though one got past the censors. Introducing Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek, he remarked, "They're ridiculously gorgeous specimens, they're extremely talented, and probably very interesting. I'm not sure, I couldn't understand a f…ing word they said."
Probably inspired by Ricky's sex-oriented comments, some stars came up with their own R-rated remarks. Seth Rogen, with Kate Beckinsale at his side, casually introduced himself, "I am Seth Rogen and I am currently trying to conceal a massive erection." I thought that was in bad taste and totally inappropriate for the occasion. Though she was all smiles, poor Kate was obviously embarrassed. Madonna, on the other hand, did not let Ricky's introduction to her as "she's just like a virgin" pass. She quipped, "If I'm still like a virgin, Ricky, why don't you come down and do something about it?. She went on, "I haven't kissed a girl in a few years. After a short pause, she continued, "On TV." Tina Fey and Jane Lynch had their "penis joke" at the expense of Thomas Jane, star of "Hung," a series about a high school coach who is also a male prostitute.
Finally, I have my own awards to give for the stars who came out on the Golden Globes:
The star with the longest acceptance speech at three minutes and five seconds was Meryl Streep whose "s" word had to be bleeped when she discovered she had forgotten her glasses and couldn't read her notes. She won as Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama for "The Iron Lady."
The most subdued acceptance speech was given by Michelle Williams who won as Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical for "My Week with Marilyn." She was calm and collected and endeared herself to mothers when she said "I am a mother first and an actress second." She thanked her daughter for being patient with her and "suffering through six months of bedtime stories where all the princesses were read aloud in a Marilyn Monroe sounding voice." She also had one of the shortest acceptance speeches —58 seconds.
The most boring presenter was Mark Wahlberg who didn't seem impressed when he intoned "here is the impressive list of nominees."
The winner who spent the longest time, almost a minute, walking to the stage was Octavia Spencer, who won for Best Supporting Actress in Motion Picture Comedy or Musical for "The Help."
The evening's surprising scene stealer was a puppy who came out in "The Artist," winner for Best Picture in the drama category. He or she displayed a few tricks while the producer was delivering his acceptance speech.
The most unique presenters were husband and wife William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman who introduced their category this way: "These actresses did stunning work, heart-breaking true and bold. Four will go home empty-handed, one will take home gold." What's so unique about that introduction? They sang it.
I look forward to the Oscars next month where I expect Billy Crystal to do a better hosting job than Ricky Gervais.
